Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
