yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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