IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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