hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
