hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
