I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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