You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
