And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
