You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
