yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
