My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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