Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
