Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
