Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
