How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
