Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This is the high leading the old right now
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
