Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
