Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
When are your genitals available?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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