I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Houston, we have a squirter
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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