i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
