Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
