I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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