i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
