you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
