walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
