K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize