i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
