clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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