Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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