sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
