u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
