first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
