We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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