Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
