I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
