is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
