cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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