I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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