Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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