Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
