And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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