sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i came on her dog
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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