I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
