Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
