im so drunk with asians
where?
always
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
