Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
