And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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