$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
