just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
