Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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